Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
3pm strippers are depressing
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
