yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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