You really coming over, don't trick.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
