There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
