I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just had sex on a roof
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize