last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
