it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
