new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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