I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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