Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
