I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize