dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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