I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
