you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
