was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
