I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
