So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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