Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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