She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My boob is missing a layer of skin
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize