i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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