my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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