If i come over, it means nothing
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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