i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
