never play flip cup with pint glasses
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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