worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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