I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
