hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
