By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize