See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
