you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
