She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
