yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
