Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize