My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize