I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
