Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
