There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize