Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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