the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
