Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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