He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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