yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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