I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
