sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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