Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
