What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
