both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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