She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
These tits shall not be calmed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
