Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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