worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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