Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
