I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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