pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
