I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
