It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
