It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
