I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
