is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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