Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
