It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
