YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
