Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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