Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
