How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
