My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
