Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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