How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
