well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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