Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
