Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
