she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
