you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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