I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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