i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
