he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
