Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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