As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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