I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
