Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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