you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize