Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
