In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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