so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
