Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Randomize
